








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 922 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1819 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1407 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,750 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pete | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Kahjolinna_78 | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | 🖤 battery acid enema 🖤 | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | BigDaddy | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Nacno | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicatya | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | BigDaddy | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nacno | 151 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | ArdeW | 89 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | ekkis | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | BigDaddy | 52 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kahjolinna_78 | 51 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🖤 battery acid enema 🖤 | +4.40 | 68 | 50 |
| #2 | ArdeW | +4.25 | 78 | 77 |
| #3 | Kahjolinna_78 | +3.11 | 31 | 73 |
| #4 | BigDaddy | +2.83 | 20 | 74 |
| #5 | Pete | +1.55 | 71 | 67 |





