








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2693 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2675 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2461 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2178 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,924 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | So3lb3rg | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Xplized | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | ★MoU★ | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | Laux | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | TigerCupcake | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | sebastian | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | kR0maNd` | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | JOM0 ッ | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | Ulle | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | nut nut | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3•10⁸m/s | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Sabss ︻デ 一 | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | ★MoU★ | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | JOM0 ッ | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | nut nut | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3•10⁸m/s | 85 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sabss ︻デ 一 | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ulle | 64 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | ★MoU★ | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | JOM0 ッ | 47 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOM0 ッ | +2.54 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | kR0maNd` | +2.13 | 63 | 55 |
| #3 | nut nut | +0.65 | 14 | 65 |
| #4 | Xplized | +0.63 | 53 | 58 |
| #5 | sebastian | +0.44 | 61 | 53 |





