








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4384 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4003 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5132 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5183 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,835 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | </Scr1PT>™ | 44% | 36 |
| #8 | ClutchKick_88 | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | B.Rabbit | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | carlosp10 | 34% | 64 |
| #11 | rokat[A :> | 29% | 28 |





