








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 433 | 23% |
| Smokes | 466 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 546 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 471 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,500 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vatis | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | zaizai * smokeboken.net | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | quuqeli | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | mustikka | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | naaw | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | naaw | 50% | 42 |
| #6 | Samu | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | PelkkäJoe | 46% | 48 |
| #8 | Leneri | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | ookke | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PelkkäJoe | 128 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Samu | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | mustikka | 82 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #4 | naaw | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vatis | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samu | +2.82 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | Vatis | +1.70 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | quuqeli | +0.71 | 81 | 44 |
| #4 | zaizai * smokeboken.net | -0.08 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | PelkkäJoe | -0.19 | 58 | 69 |





