








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 414 | 22% |
| Smokes | 365 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,300 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StuH | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | klay | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Tom | nomeuu | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | Kvickmort ツ | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | sirgje | 64% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sirgje | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | klay | 2 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | Kvickmort ツ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sirgje | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kvickmort ツ | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tom | nomeuu | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Barra | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | StuH | 25 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | nomeuu | +4.29 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | Barra | +3.07 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | Samu | +2.70 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | StuH | +2.05 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | zaizai * smokeboken.net | +0.88 | 44 | 63 |





