










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1160 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1197 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1351 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1081 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,456 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hmph | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | MrPerky | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | myrgeN | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Rilo$ | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | Man of Steel | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man of Steel | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | FL | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | hmph | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | MrPerky | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Tatzka | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rilo$ | 99 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | FL | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | dotkristian | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Man of Steel | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | MrColo88 | 35 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hmph | +6.75 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | myrgeN | +5.99 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | FL | +4.35 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | dotkristian | +0.02 | 57 | 78 |
| #5 | hzzzla | -0.50 | 67 | 63 |





