








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4702 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4001 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3567 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2966 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $902,766 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toMi | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | jouni | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | mADR | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | hapE=D | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hapE=D | 349 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | toMi | 262 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | jouni | 176 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | gaslipstick | 169 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 125 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jouni | +3.33 | 57 | 73 |
| #2 | gaslipstick | +3.32 | 83 | 81 |
| #3 | hulkka[N! | +1.45 | 75 | 81 |
| #4 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | +0.84 | 45 | 77 |
| #5 | toMi | +0.44 | 69 | 69 |





