








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 538 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4820 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5000 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2658 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5854 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,507 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunnYs the II | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Joyboy | 54% | 78 |
| #3 | BlueScarff- | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Tapsi (Primary Awper & IGL) | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Šãşüķe Ãjįm | 49% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Destroyer | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ♛ nEU|2On3K | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Chill | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Šãşüķe Ãjįm | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Run. | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ nEU|2On3K | 715 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | Chill | 627 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Destroyer | 480 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | S̅p̅o̅1̅n̅k̅s̅ | 329 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Run. | 228 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunnYs the II | +3.71 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | ♛ nEU|2On3K | +2.34 | 93 | 70 |
| #3 | Chill | +1.58 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | Destroyer | +0.91 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | Akuma 2.0 | +0.45 | 90 | 65 |





