








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 21% |
| Smokes | 826 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 703 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 786 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,703 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honkkari | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | blaccflaco | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | Lohikeitto | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | Jamppib | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | chp | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lohikeitto | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | Jamppib | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | chp | 40% | 30 |
| #6 | I Like Turtles | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | Snapuster | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blaccflaco | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | chp | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blaccflaco | 177 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | chp | 129 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lohikeitto | 127 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jamppib | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Honkkari | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lohikeitto | +1.30 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | chp | +0.76 | 54 | 82 |
| #3 | Jamppib | +0.09 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | I Like Turtles | -0.24 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | LaZZe | -0.63 | 44 | 64 |





