








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1659 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1414 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,075 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jiikoo | 43% | 47 |
| #8 | I Like Turtles | 41% | 29 |
| #9 | LaZZe | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | Snapuster | 39% | 18 |
| #11 | 𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚊 | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snapuster | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Lohikeitto | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | blaccflaco | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | I Like Turtles | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blaccflaco | 109 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | I Like Turtles | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Snapuster | 92 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lohikeitto | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jamppib | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sakkees | +5.72 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | chp | +2.00 | 52 | 78 |
| #3 | Lohikeitto | +1.95 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | I Like Turtles | +1.75 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Jamppib | +0.56 | 48 | 58 |





