








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1077 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5765 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7022 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3550 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4845 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,116,877 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 695 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tino | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | Viltsu | 57% | 97 |
| #3 | bob | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Huli | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | ryan gosling | 55% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loori | 11 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | eerikK | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Huli | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | allu🅱 | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | pingo | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu🅱 | 523 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Huli | 358 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | eerikK | 305 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Viltsu | 296 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | bob | 206 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | +2.43 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | eerikK | +2.05 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | allu🅱 | +0.93 | 42 | 72 |
| #4 | Huli | +0.92 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Tino | +0.47 | 77 | 59 |





