








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3033 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2355 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1566 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2055 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,058 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -r3yy | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Furyyy'M | 60% | 78 |
| #3 | shY | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | DeM^ | 58% | 50 |
| #5 | MephYsTo | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Furyyy'M | 60% | 78 |
| #3 | shY | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | DeM^ | 58% | 50 |
| #5 | MephYsTo | 58% | 19 |
| #6 | chkk | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Furyyy'M | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | DeM^ | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | chkk | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | shY | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | MephYsTo | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shY | 268 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Furyyy'M | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | DeM^ | 140 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | chkk | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | -r3yy | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shY | +1.87 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | chkk | +1.43 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | TheRA1DER | +0.98 | 46 | 85 |
| #4 | DeM^ | +0.95 | 46 | 72 |
| #5 | Furyyy'M | +0.91 | 87 | 66 |





