








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 203 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5631 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4230 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4964 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5015 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,413,039 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 751 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Q | 46% | 26 |
| #13 | Leetify "Magic" | 46% | 46 |
| #14 | Kamehamehaaaaaaa | 46% | 114 |
| #15 | Naddy | 44% | 79 |
| #16 | -=TF=- MrPeggle die Tontaube | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=TF=- Neko10 | 178 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kamehamehaaaaaaa | 145 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | IngloriousDusk | 102 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Naddy | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bulls3ye | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |





