








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 744 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 596 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8387 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5822 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5614 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1638 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,055,215 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ip0x | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | ATR3V1D0 | 56% | 85 |
| #4 | El Paleño | 53% | 191 |
| #5 | iЯøN twitch.tv/iron22 | 49% | 118 |
| #6 | |✪|◥◣Albert◢◤|✪| | 47% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |✪|◥◣Albert◢◤|✪| | 31 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | iЯøN twitch.tv/iron22 | 19 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | El Paleño | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ATR3V1D0 | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | ip0x | 6 | 0.0080 |





