








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 277 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2870 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3260 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4593 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3577 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,875 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xs3ro ♥ | 59% | 355 |
| #5 | PuZzLe | 59% | 32 |
| #6 | xsunny_ ⚜ | 57% | 244 |
| #7 | Sapu | 56% | 52 |
| #8 | diYA2 | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xs3ro ♥ | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Sapu | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | xsunny_ ⚜ | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | diYA2 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | LuVRAPTOR | 1 | 0.0009 |





