








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 748 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 919 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2737 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3709 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4093 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,124,699 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IamAPineapple | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | Le chevalier blanc | 50% | 390 |
| #3 | Anyndril | 50% | 477 |
| #4 | CmoiThomas | 48% | 124 |
| #5 | marty6503 | 46% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anyndril | 28 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | marty6503 | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Le chevalier blanc | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | benomite | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Cshoww | 8 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anyndril | 860 | 0.09 | 23 min |
| #2 | Le chevalier blanc | 162 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cshoww | 149 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | CmoiThomas | 76 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | benomite | 41 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CmoiThomas | +1.93 | 36 | 29 |
| #2 | _nicolpif_ | +1.90 | 26 | 28 |
| #3 | IamAPineapple | +0.85 | 34 | 37 |
| #4 | Le chevalier blanc | +0.75 | 31 | 41 |
| #5 | Anyndril | -0.24 | 22 | 51 |





