








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 703 | 27% |
| Smokes | 669 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 535 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 694 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,693 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emerald | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | kRYSTEN | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | dRac /r/ | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | rachel | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Meine | 70% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | morgoth | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | eveN. | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | NAT' | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | ✪ Zephyor! | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | 10'Hasemal | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey D. JulAR | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | kRYSTEN | 1 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | 10'Hasemal | 1 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | morgoth | 1 | 0.0135 |
| #5 | NAT' | 1 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey D. JulAR | 46 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | kRYSTEN | 33 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #3 | rachel | 30 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Meine | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ Zephyor! | 22 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dRac /r/ | +14.39 | 94 | 83 |
| #2 | kRYSTEN | +5.06 | 84 | 78 |
| #3 | ✪ Zephyor! | +3.52 | 94 | 71 |
| #4 | Ex3rcice | +2.36 | 86 | 76 |
| #5 | NAT' | +1.81 | 92 | 74 |





