








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 902 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1171 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,402 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Levitas | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | McPeace | 38% | 66 |
| #11 | schmandperle | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | TheRickos | 33% | 18 |
| #13 | syniix | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levitas | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | McPeace | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ✪ Stefelele ✖仲間 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | SlμmpιLμmpι | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | syniix | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Stefelele ✖仲間 | 200 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | McPeace | 190 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | SlμmpιLμmpι | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | syniix | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Par0dy0faPr0 | 58 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syniix | +3.83 | 95 | 71 |
| #2 | SlμmpιLμmpι | +2.88 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | ✪ Stefelele ✖仲間 | +2.51 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | schmandperle | +2.43 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | Levitas | +1.43 | 77 | 53 |





