








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 834 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1211 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 772 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1069 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,912 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 1llo | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | Jami | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | Raimo Vormisto | 45% | 20 |
| #12 | paukkumeininkipasi | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | OGlole | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jami | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | hamsteri15 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Jaska | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | UncleSose | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | OGlole | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kylbert | 120 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | hamsteri15 | 119 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Raimo Vormisto | 87 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | MIKEZI | 87 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jami | 63 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaska | +4.99 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | kylbert | +1.78 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | MIKEZI | +1.71 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | OGlole | +0.71 | 91 | 60 |
| #5 | Jami | +0.55 | 57 | 54 |





