








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1098 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 733 matches | ||
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 148 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4624 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6277 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10174 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 6278 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,015,836 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ moon-A- EIZO | 57% | 189 |
| #2 | [PG] BROWNY | 50% | 105 |
| #3 | Hαδεž | 49% | 298 |
| #4 | »★PG★« Kollegin Schnürschuh | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | empty | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Deadahead | 46% | 267 |
| #8 | 「Silverf4x」 | 46% | 204 |
| #9 | ✪r4GE | 44% | 72 |
| #10 | p1ngu | 43% | 91 |
| #11 | Jonny2k | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ moon-A- EIZO | +2.07 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | Jim Panse | +0.93 | 60 | 58 |
| #3 | ✪r4GE | +0.84 | 50 | 60 |
| #4 | empty | +0.66 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | 「Silverf4x」 | +0.37 | 54 | 61 |





