










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 184 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4551 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4923 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6524 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4681 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,512,763 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1032 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐋 . | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 比比東 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | tao. | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | hitokage | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Azuzu_86 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐋 . | 826 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | Azuzu_86 | 621 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | 比比東 | 570 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | ♒ EygisK ☺ | 268 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | tao. | 213 | 0.06 | 5 min |





