








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5467 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5657 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3369 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4533 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,833,235 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark knight dark soul sinner | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | tao. | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | 比比東 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | muta1isk | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | qqbi | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙆𝙀𝙄𝙕✷ | 503 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | muta1isk | 487 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | 比比東 | 485 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | tao. | 265 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Azuzu_86 | 206 | 0.19 | 6 min |





