








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3124 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3209 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 457 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 1943 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,851 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny DoubleTap | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | arctic banana | 51% | 306 |
| #3 | Bedula | 50% | 212 |
| #4 | Rusty Nail | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny DoubleTap | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | arctic banana | 51% | 306 |
| #3 | Bedula | 50% | 212 |
| #4 | Rusty Nail | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bedula | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | arctic banana | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Rusty Nail | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty Nail | 366 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | arctic banana | 232 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bedula | 186 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Johnny DoubleTap | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rapscallion | +1.83 | 77 | 48 |
| #2 | Johnny DoubleTap | -0.29 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | Bedula | -0.36 | 38 | 48 |
| #4 | arctic banana | -1.21 | 55 | 52 |
| #5 | Rusty Nail | -1.80 | 30 | 53 |





