








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6362 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6509 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3588 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $914,926 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ Buns | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Snooks | 53% | 133 |
| #3 | slimmote | 52% | 117 |
| #4 | ✖︎ Swags | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | ♫♥LexTheFrog♥♫ | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | weqtum | 46% | 99 |
| #9 | Donmega | 46% | 63 |
| #10 | Kurisu | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | tRplays | 37% | 27 |
| #12 | TalkSicK | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slimmote | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Snooks | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Donmega | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ✖︎ Swags | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | tRplays | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snooks | 549 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | slimmote | 195 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | ♫♥LexTheFrog♥♫ | 150 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | weqtum | 111 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Donmega | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troof | +2.16 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | ♫♥LexTheFrog♥♫ | +1.64 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | Lou Manotti | +0.43 | 65 | 63 |
| #4 | Snooks | +0.40 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Kurisu | +0.13 | 63 | 61 |





