










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1016 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 610 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1092 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,951 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxi | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | ƮأϞ | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | The G3ck0 | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | nizzle | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | -Picwars- | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Light™ | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | Speeditz | 41% | 17 |
| #15 | ∼ | 40% | 10 |
| #16 | Red Mist | 37% | 27 |
| #17 | hELL | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red Mist | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Light™ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Oxi | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | MonTrey | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Unex] -NLT | 128 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Light™ | 95 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | MonTrey | 74 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | Clownixx ♕ | 63 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Oxi | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ∼ | +2.60 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | -Picwars- | +2.15 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | krb∼ | +1.58 | 77 | 56 |
| #4 | The G3ck0 | +1.43 | 40 | 62 |
| #5 | nizzle | +1.38 | 67 | 66 |





