








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1448 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2178 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1237 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1802 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,887 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nals | 62% | 144 |
| #2 | L4CH5N4CK3N. | 60% | 147 |
| #3 | eik✪s1 | 59% | 156 |
| #4 | el´Klappstuhl | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Mr. Frag | 57% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nals | +2.71 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | cloud | +2.50 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | L4CH5N4CK3N. | +0.22 | 60 | 76 |
| #4 | eik✪s1 | +0.17 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | el´Klappstuhl | +0.06 | 55 | 71 |





