








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 59,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18912 | 32% |
| Smokes | 13759 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 14757 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 12320 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,771,973 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Bananenbrot | 39% | 178 |
| #15 | hijo | 39% | 56 |
| #16 | gaku87 | 37% | 351 |
| #17 | kleinerLutz | 36% | 285 |
| #18 | Daddy♥ | 33% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaku87 | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kompetenz Klaus | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Memphis | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Muhlikuh | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Abellus | 10 | 0.0019 |





