








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1872 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1060 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2546 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1950 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,516 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Areno | 13 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | toegoblin420 | 9 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | The Coach | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Deli from SIMP NATION | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | 3 dollars, 73 cents | 6 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitch-Ass Drippy | +3.45 | 57 | 66 |
| #2 | dRIPpy | +2.08 | 74 | 79 |
| #3 | DexterRexter | +1.77 | 88 | 76 |
| #4 | Areno | +1.52 | 88 | 55 |
| #5 | The Coach | +1.51 | 76 | 75 |





