








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 156 matches | 1,499 | |
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1022 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2410 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2013 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,777 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tnv? | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | ( °ー ° ) Heimer | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Bengt | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | ANTIHERO | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | pizzaman | 49% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bengt | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | pizzaman | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pizzaman | +4.07 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | keyboardmage | +1.02 | 40 | 63 |
| #3 | ANTIHERO | +0.90 | 25 | 74 |
| #4 | Tnv? | +0.82 | 49 | 55 |
| #5 | ♛ Dr Snuggles™ ツ | +0.70 | 58 | 66 |





