








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Esplay | 24 matches | 1,547 | |
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1902 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1503 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1095 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 995 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,685 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tnv? | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | keyboardmage | 41% | 34 |
| #8 | Mem0ry | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | ( °ー ° ) Heimer | 36% | 44 |
| #10 | Nomst | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ( °ー ° ) Heimer | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | keyboardmage | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Tnv? | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keyboardmage | 149 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | ( °ー ° ) Heimer | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tnv? | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | pizzaman | 34 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mem0ry | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pizzaman | +3.34 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | ANTIHERO | +1.78 | 36 | 70 |
| #3 | ♛ Dr Snuggles™ ツ | -0.45 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | Tnv? | -0.61 | 55 | 48 |
| #5 | TetraPak | -0.76 | 19 | 28 |





