










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6756 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5801 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5310 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4709 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $697,360 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 648 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N7Shifu | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | N7Cypher | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | CRY | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Maverick | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ★Jany★ | 2 | 0.0007 |





