








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4230 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2395 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3214 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1239 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,047 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeiZi | 51% | 85 |
| #2 | Opux | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | Andeeri | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Dunster | 47% | 73 |
| #5 | HandsomeTom | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Opux | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | Andeeri | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Dunster | 47% | 73 |
| #5 | HandsomeTom | 45% | 53 |
| #6 | Lauri Kakkonen | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunster | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Andeeri | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | BeiZi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Opux | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunster | 227 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | BeiZi | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Andeeri | 171 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Opux | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | HandsomeTom | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeiZi | +0.89 | 54 | 70 |
| #2 | Andeeri | +0.32 | 68 | 68 |
| #3 | *snny Dead Man's Clutch | +0.21 | 55 | 68 |
| #4 | Lauri Kakkonen | -0.44 | 60 | 67 |
| #5 | HandsomeTom | -1.08 | 59 | 57 |





