








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Wingman | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9027 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8808 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4916 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7590 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,086,136 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piupali | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | HandsomeTom | 52% | 130 |
| #3 | *snny Dead Man's Clutch | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | BeiZi | 48% | 617 |
| #5 | Andeeri | 47% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Andeeri | 47% | 106 |
| #6 | Dunster | 46% | 147 |
| #7 | DoesNotOwnPandas | 42% | 175 |
| #8 | UtusenPohkeet | 41% | 122 |
| #9 | Tuntematon | 41% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeiZi | 23 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Dunster | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | HandsomeTom | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Andeeri | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | UtusenPohkeet | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeiZi | 1263 | 0.10 | 35 min |
| #2 | Dunster | 439 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Andeeri | 303 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | *snny Dead Man's Clutch | 295 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #5 | UtusenPohkeet | 258 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *snny Dead Man's Clutch | +1.21 | 50 | 69 |
| #2 | UtusenPohkeet | +1.14 | 38 | 61 |
| #3 | Andeeri | +0.62 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | BeiZi | +0.46 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | Opux | +0.19 | 56 | 66 |





