








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1760 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2178 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2391 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,090 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Massi [lp] | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | JackH | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | ☆ 1ceBunny ♡ | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | Putrik | 61% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 𝓝𝓲𝓷𝓳𝓪 | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | Loco | 50% | 18 |
| #11 | K.ish ツ | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | Skank! | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | Wicked™ | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓝𝓲𝓷𝓳𝓪 | 6 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Wicked™ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Eve | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Loco | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | ☆ 1ceBunny ♡ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wicked™ | 160 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | K.ish ツ | 101 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Putrik | 98 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Eve | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Yuzu | 66 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Massi [lp] | +2.81 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | shortyy | +2.23 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | +2.14 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | K.ish ツ | +1.51 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | Wicked™ | +1.37 | 86 | 54 |





