








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1696 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Esplay | 176 matches | 1,906 | |
| Faceit | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2378 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2590 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4016 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2548 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,543,116 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The stekspade | 56% | 171 |
| #2 | headshot man | 53% | 200 |
| #3 | korreWorre | 51% | 246 |
| #4 | badh | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The stekspade | 56% | 171 |
| #2 | headshot man | 53% | 200 |
| #3 | korreWorre | 51% | 246 |
| #4 | badh | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot man | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | The stekspade | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | korreWorre | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | badh | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot man | 596 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | korreWorre | 508 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | The stekspade | 350 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | badh | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qslig | +0.78 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | headshot man | +0.36 | 68 | 74 |
| #3 | The stekspade | +0.31 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | korreWorre | -0.10 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | badh | -1.93 | 75 | 66 |





