








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4650 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4996 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4044 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3050 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,945,891 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NUBOPOLY | 49% | 61 |
| #2 | K∆Zòótëd | 49% | 347 |
| #3 | ToeJerry | 48% | 105 |
| #4 | D₳Ɏ₩₳ℓ₭€Ꞧ | 46% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NUBOPOLY | 49% | 61 |
| #2 | K∆Zòótëd | 49% | 347 |
| #3 | ToeJerry | 48% | 105 |
| #4 | D₳Ɏ₩₳ℓ₭€Ꞧ | 46% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K∆Zòótëd | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ToeJerry | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | D₳Ɏ₩₳ℓ₭€Ꞧ | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K∆Zòótëd | 1289 | 0.18 | 41 min |
| #2 | ToeJerry | 178 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | NUBOPOLY | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | D₳Ɏ₩₳ℓ₭€Ꞧ | 47 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K∆Zòótëd | +3.44 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | ToeJerry | +0.46 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | ɱɪᴋᴇᴀʀᴏɳɪ | +0.08 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | NUBOPOLY | -1.89 | 43 | 48 |
| #5 | D₳Ɏ₩₳ℓ₭€Ꞧ | -3.53 | 49 | 38 |





