










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,623 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1083 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1412 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 719 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,240 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SleepyDead | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | Wanda | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | j1mphA | 44% | 50 |
| #11 | Runar Tvålfager | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Byzze | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3rk0 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | KennyKanot | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | j1mphA | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ✪Kfars✪ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | SleepyDead | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyKanot | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | SleepyDead | 80 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪Kfars✪ | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | j1mphA | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | 3rk0 | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |





