








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 513 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5839 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8645 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5482 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6347 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,843,579 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trap4u ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 46 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | DarkanCS | 39 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Chamoulatouf | 29 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ZanKya | 26 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Slayfs | 25 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trap4u ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 2566 | 0.19 | 76 min |
| #2 | DarkanCS | 1496 | 0.17 | 37 min |
| #3 | Slayfs | 1298 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #4 | ZanKya | 617 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #5 | Chamoulatouf | 577 | 0.07 | 10 min |





