








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 433 | 3% |
| Smokes | 8851 | 63% |
| HE Grenades | 3689 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,298 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 700 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helperi | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Himu | 51% | 103 |
| #3 | SoulStorm | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | P.Alvi | 51% | 85 |
| #5 | syntaxe | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kikko | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Luumu | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Manmade-Me | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | P.Alvi | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | kimeli | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luumu | 369 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Manmade-Me | 361 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | kimeli | 305 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | P.Alvi | 201 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Himu | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |





