








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 738 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Wingman | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7384 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4056 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5443 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3950 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,201 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 40% | 48 |
| #2 | Fergonne | 39% | 242 |
| #3 | MrFluffersom | 35% | 120 |
| #4 | contempt4u2 | 32% | 111 |
| #5 | DumpDaddy | 30% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 40% | 48 |
| #2 | Fergonne | 39% | 242 |
| #3 | MrFluffersom | 35% | 120 |
| #4 | contempt4u2 | 32% | 111 |
| #5 | DumpDaddy | 30% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fergonne | 40 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | MrFluffersom | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | contempt4u2 | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | DumpDaddy | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fergonne | 1960 | 0.39 | 40 min |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | MrFluffersom | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | contempt4u2 | 128 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | +3.21 | 49 | 11 |
| #2 | Fergonne | +3.19 | 64 | 51 |
| #3 | MrFluffersom | +0.69 | 29 | 28 |
| #4 | DumpDaddy | -1.08 | 32 | 39 |
| #5 | llama killa | -1.60 | 21 | 52 |





