








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1897 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1003 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1379 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 652 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,590 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JojoBardella | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Mathieu Bock-Côté | 49% | 82 |
| #3 | Tonton Panda | 48% | 125 |
| #4 | Maquessime | 47% | 142 |
| #5 | Sonia Mabrouk | 47% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mathieu Bock-Côté | 49% | 82 |
| #3 | Tonton Panda | 48% | 125 |
| #4 | Maquessime | 47% | 142 |
| #5 | Sonia Mabrouk | 47% | 60 |
| #6 | Caracallux | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maquessime | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Mathieu Bock-Côté | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Caracallux | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | JojoBardella | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Tonton Panda | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maquessime | 516 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tonton Panda | 283 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sonia Mabrouk | 266 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mathieu Bock-Côté | 200 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Caracallux | 116 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suspect | +0.65 | 48 | 58 |
| #2 | Caracallux | +0.35 | 49 | 65 |
| #3 | Sonia Mabrouk | +0.02 | 48 | 65 |
| #4 | Mathieu Bock-Côté | -0.03 | 39 | 41 |
| #5 | Maquessime | -0.74 | 59 | 62 |





