








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1592 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1547 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,692 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Zelenta | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Penguin | 60% | 91 |
| #4 | BEAN | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | LordScorpy | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LordScorpy | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | ASSA | 55% | 22 |
| #7 | Pr0ject | 55% | 22 |
| #8 | Anakeene (★) | 52% | 52 |
| #9 | HSStiNG | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zelenta | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Pr0ject | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | BEAN | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | HSStiNG | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Penguin | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguin | 607 | 0.33 | 18 min |
| #2 | Anakeene (★) | 161 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pr0ject | 84 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | BEAN | 64 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | HSStiNG | 64 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASSA | +3.43 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | LordScorpy | +3.20 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | BEAN | +2.71 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | Pr0ject | +1.11 | 84 | 59 |
| #5 | Penguin | +0.75 | 64 | 79 |





