








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1113 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 958 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 959 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,394 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjjjjjj | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | FEL1X | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Alex | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | KEEbitz | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | Internet Schmutz | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Internet Schmutz | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Alex | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | jjjjjjj | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jjjjjjj | +5.44 | 86 | 78 |
| #2 | obes | +2.45 | 85 | 43 |
| #3 | FEL1X | +2.36 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | KEEbitz | +2.00 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | BR0M④N | +0.94 | 77 | 74 |





