








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1397 | 34% |
| Smokes | 857 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1218 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 679 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,967 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redvac | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | ex | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | BlueGhost | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | Piquecelle | 53% | 118 |
| #5 | SelectaPastaga | 52% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ex | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | BlueGhost | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | Piquecelle | 53% | 118 |
| #5 | SelectaPastaga | 52% | 118 |
| #6 | Plam Cobell | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SelectaPastaga | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Piquecelle | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | BlueGhost | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ex | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Plam Cobell | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlueGhost | 414 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | SelectaPastaga | 250 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Piquecelle | 126 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | ex | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Redvac | 53 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ex | +2.60 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | BlueGhost | +2.12 | 76 | 74 |
| #3 | Redvac | +1.22 | 75 | 76 |
| #4 | DodoZbrex | -0.09 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | SelectaPastaga | -0.72 | 52 | 60 |





