








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4035 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3164 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5400 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1201 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,584,203 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *csR | 53% | 198 |
| #2 | lippincott | 49% | 253 |
| #3 | [CMC]iNsolence | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | sLicey_a0s | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *csR | 53% | 198 |
| #2 | lippincott | 49% | 253 |
| #3 | [CMC]iNsolence | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | sLicey_a0s | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lippincott | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | *csR | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | sLicey_a0s | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | [CMC]iNsolence | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lippincott | 1220 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #2 | *csR | 701 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | [CMC]iNsolence | 100 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | sLicey_a0s | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nahstee | +1.18 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | sLicey_a0s | +0.43 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | *csR | +0.16 | 73 | 76 |
| #4 | lippincott | +0.13 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | [CMC]iNsolence | -0.72 | 64 | 77 |





