








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 515 | 24% |
| Smokes | 463 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 601 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,203 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil' Jenz | 54% | 68 |
| #2 | ma3rsk | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | smasker | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Hedegaard | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil' Jenz | 54% | 68 |
| #2 | ma3rsk | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | smasker | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Hedegaard | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smasker | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Hedegaard | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ma3rsk | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Lil' Jenz | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil' Jenz | 165 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Hedegaard | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | smasker | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ma3rsk | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ma3rsk | +2.31 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Lil' Jenz | +1.06 | 44 | 72 |
| #3 | Hedegaard | -0.93 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | stoken | -1.12 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | smasker | -1.30 | 63 | 61 |





