








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 955 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1161 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1247 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,859 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ma3rsk | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | stoken | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | Hedegaard | 46% | 67 |
| #4 | smasker | 45% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ma3rsk | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | stoken | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | Hedegaard | 46% | 67 |
| #4 | smasker | 45% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stoken | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | smasker | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Hedegaard | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ma3rsk | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stoken | 88 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hedegaard | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | smasker | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | ma3rsk | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ma3rsk | +2.93 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Lil' Jenz | +1.05 | 42 | 73 |
| #3 | stoken | -0.65 | 55 | 67 |
| #4 | Hedegaard | -0.83 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | smasker | -1.24 | 61 | 61 |





