








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 546 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1042 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1257 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1580 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1019 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,560 of utility $312 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mono | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | Turtle 🐢 | 56% | 96 |
| #3 | erOb | 56% | 173 |
| #4 | :) | 54% | 149 |
| #5 | Bas1c | 53% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Turtle 🐢 | 56% | 96 |
| #3 | erOb | 56% | 173 |
| #4 | :) | 54% | 149 |
| #5 | Bas1c | 53% | 68 |
| #6 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bas1c | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | erOb | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | :) | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Turtle 🐢 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erOb | 343 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Turtle 🐢 | 183 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | :) | 79 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bas1c | 47 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erOb | +4.58 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | mono | +0.30 | 59 | 77 |
| #3 | Abel | -0.59 | 44 | 45 |
| #4 | Turtle 🐢 | -0.62 | 27 | 50 |
| #5 | :) | -1.49 | 44 | 49 |





