










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1399 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1069 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,085,005 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mono | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Abel | 54% | 149 |
| #3 | erOb | 53% | 200 |
| #4 | Turtle 🐢 | 52% | 91 |
| #5 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Abel | 54% | 149 |
| #3 | erOb | 53% | 200 |
| #4 | Turtle 🐢 | 52% | 91 |
| #5 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 47% | 34 |
| #6 | Bas1c | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bas1c | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | erOb | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Abel | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Turtle 🐢 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | mono | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erOb | 412 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Abel | 297 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Turtle 🐢 | 158 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | mono | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erOb | +4.46 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | Turtle 🐢 | -0.48 | 28 | 50 |
| #3 | Abel | -0.62 | 44 | 46 |
| #4 | mono | -1.49 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | :) | -1.73 | 43 | 47 |





