








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1153 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1452 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1465 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1008 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $855,214 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakane | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | bdck | 50% | 92 |
| #3 | Maltööö | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | Noedig | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Taav | 46% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Janne Ahonen | 46% | 81 |
| #7 | pyt3c | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | Bernard Dietz | 41% | 98 |
| #9 | Jachse | 39% | 74 |
| #10 | Walter Frosch | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bdck | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Janne Ahonen | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Taav | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Jachse | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Walter Frosch | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taav | 131 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bernard Dietz | 113 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | bdck | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Janne Ahonen | 105 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Maltööö | 63 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taav | +1.69 | 53 | 53 |
| #2 | pyt3c | +1.63 | 54 | 85 |
| #3 | Jachse | +1.19 | 50 | 55 |
| #4 | bdck | +0.98 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | Walter Frosch | +0.32 | 78 | 52 |





